There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
