i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize