spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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