You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
