with your own penis?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
