Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
