Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Porn is love you can see.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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