Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
