we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
