I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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