the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
