Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
