You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
