guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Two words: blizzard sex
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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