I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dude. I can hear the air.
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