just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
