but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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