tell your sister to shave her snatch
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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