I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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