i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
