In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
