That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
