and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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