so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
