My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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