IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
