check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
