what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
