her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
