is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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