wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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