i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
