Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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