Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
