we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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