I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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