He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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