Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
