Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She swung at the pinata with crutches
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
