She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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