I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
