Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
