just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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