we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
