I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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