Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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