i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
