She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
