he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize