Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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