i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
