you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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