I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
