she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
