wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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