forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
