Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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