I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
