whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
