She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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