my mouth tastes like poor choices
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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