I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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