I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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