Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
