Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize