Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
