Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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