Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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