We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize