Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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