Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
